As many of you know, the last three months of my life have been one of the toughest I've ever experienced. I've gone through an array of emotions, trying to find worthiness again and feeling that life had it out for me, to feeling like I could handle all that I was going through and back and forth again.
I cannot express the gratitude I have for all of the people who have been there to listen, send positive words of encouragement and who helped remind me of who I am. I've realized as I get older that the most important people in your life will be there for you in your good and your bad times; and even those who you never expected to lend a helping hand or give an ear to listen can make such the difference.
It's been a struggle, to say the least, to find me again; but I think I'm finally getting my "spark" back!
As the new year rolled in, I decided to let my problems, sorrows, hardships, worries and everything else that brought me down in 2013, to stay in 2013. I promised myself that I would occupy myself and my time with positive people, positive things and positive thoughts - and it's incredible how amazing I've felt since.
I have to admit, when I missed my train to Paris, which ultimately made me miss my flight to Poland, I was discouraged beyond belief. I thought that was it - that was the end - that was the epic ending to my shitty 2013. But instead, I had friends from all over the world who came to my rescue! They wouldn't let my 2013 end that way, but instead give me something amazing to look forward to in 2014. The bride and groom were looking up buses, flights, trains, etc. for me, just so I could make it to their wedding. Friends in the same city were running around to help me make everything on time, and other friends were searching for any other way for me to make it to Poland. I have to admit - I have some of the most amazing friends ever!
After catching a bus to Milan, Italy, finding an amazing bus driver who gave me a lift an hour away to the airport, sleeping overnight in the airport, getting f'ed over by the airline with extra charges, finally catching the flight, a shuttle and two trains, I made it to Shiraz, Poland (the location of Lukasz & Fabi's Wedding (C'est la vie)) where I had an incredible time celebrating the marriage of two of the most AMAZING people in this world. I can't even describe the inner beauty in these two people. They have so much life and so much love for themselves, other people and the world. I long to appreciate life the way they do.
I cannot thank them enough for who they are, for showing me that life shouldn't be taken for granted and forcing me to be myself again. In the short amount of time we were together in Poland, they helped me find my spirit and love for life again. Being around so many international people, world travelers and those with the same type of spirit as me, opened my eyes and reminded me that I'm not the only one and that there are so many people out there that have the same mentality as I do. I'm not alone and I never will be.
A huge congratulations to the these two amazing people: Lukasz and Fabiola - I wish you a life filled with happiness :)
Furthermore, I spent my New Years 2014 in the an amazing city of Krakow, Poland, with awesome people! What more could I have asked for - it was, by far, one of the best things that could have happened to me. Celebrating New Years Eve in the town square with thousands of other people, dancing the night away and spending time with old and new friends. Not to mention the rest of our stay in Krakow was a blast as well! |
| One of my less disturbing pictures of Auschwitz - an original train that brought hundreds of thousands of people to be slaughtered in the camp. The gates in the far background. |
To sum it up... I also went to Auschwitz (the Nazi concentration camps) and it was one of the most educational and heartbreaking things I've ever seen. I am still in shock to think that people are so cruel and can be so completely brainwashed into thinking that massacring people is okay. Not to mention thinking about the many times throughout history that this has happened, where people have been lessened as human beings and the fact that it still occurs in many places around the world today makes me cringe - I want to rid all evil from this world.
Bref: Since being back from Poland, I've let myself be happy again, extremely and amazingly happy again. Snowboarding has been an incredible release and being around people with similar positive outlooks on life has brought my positivism and optimism to the max once again; and I feel that nothing can bring me down and I won't let anything bring me down.
Finally letting myself accept that everything happens for a reason has been one of the most important things I could have done for myself and letting go of "what could have, should have or would have been" has been my biggest success. Life moves faster than I'd like, time goes by and it's hard to hang on, but one thing I know is that, "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." So I'm going to do it as "right" as I can!
P.S. Got to see this awesome girl who I haven't seen in 3 1/2 years!!! :)
I'm so so so so happy to read this :) Glad to see the real Kristi is back! I love you bunches and miss you like crazy!
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