There is a faint scent of BBQ lingering in the air, reminding me of summer days at home - pork chops on the grill, hanging out with friends and a cold beer in my hand. But I'm brought back to reality when I look down at the street from a birds eye view. Standing on the top of the roof of our hotel with the sun beaming down on me like it would on a beautiful beach day, I realize I am not at home and only the Indian sun could feel this way in February.
There is an auto-rickshaw strike today and tomorrow. On a regular day, the auto's seem to be the transportation lifeline of the city; but today, more people seem to be walking and the noise pollution is excessively lower than usual. I watch as people drive down the street on their motorcycles and scooters, cars passing every once in a while. Today, I could probably cross the street without feeling my life is on the line or being honked at 20x's to get out of the way. It's a daily struggle to cope with the movement of life in this city and I can only imagine what other city's must be like in India. Although Bhubaneswar seems to be a great city with massive potential, I could never imagine myself living here or even staying longer than what I have now. For me, there is something missing. I have no desire to want to explore this "temple city" to its max - inside-out. Although I love the culture of the area and riding around in an auto watching people's daily lives as I pass by, this city misses "heart."
When asking other where I should visit in the city, most reply with shrugs, saying "any temple, but have you gone to Puri or Konark yet?" And to be frank, all of the temples here seem relatively the same. If I've seen one, I've seen most of them in one way or another. But more importantly, I find that when I ask that question, most point to visit somewhere outside of the city. Thinking back to all of my CouchSurfing experiences and even more personally, when people visit me in Richmond, the first thing I say isn't, "you should go to D.C. or Charlottesville." I love Richmond and I want to show people all it has to offer. Maybe the temples are all Bhubaneswar really has to offer, all they are proud of? Everyday, I can see the impact religion has on their society and culture, and most follow this practice, where the temples are their prize. But there has to be something more that maybe I would have found if I roamed the streets alone; but what I've seen has mostly been in a group or with one or two other people - and that can alter your perceptions.
I relate this back to the time I spent in Grenoble, during my study abroad. I was again in a new place and completely surrounded by a different culture, yet still I found something about the city that had "heart;" just the same as I do with Richmond. There was something different in Grenoble; maybe the fact that I could establish myself there, where here I am in this "in-between" stage of a long-staying traveler just waiting until I move onto my next destination. All the same - I am ready to experience more than what I am now, and I only have a couple more days to go.
Reading into the astrology of my Sagittarian sign, I am in essence a traveler. That is who I am and what I do. I get anxious when I get to the point that I am complacent and have no freedom to move. I feel constrained and it becomes almost like a toxin. Although, this is astrologically accurate, it is also accurate within myself. Interestingly enough, in terms of love and life, a Sagittarian doesn't enjoy traveling unless it is with the one they love (if there is one they love) because being with that lover, is fulfillment in itself. On my second journey around the world, I have found this to be true. There is nothing more I want than to have my love with me, right now. As quoted from the book,
Astrology in Love & Romance, "You find an outlet, you find light when you find someone to love. Frankly, love is your salvation. Without it, travel for instance, is no pleasure, it is a quest, a search --- or a mere chore. With it, travel becomes a wondrous journey."
Because of this desperate need to escape my "escape," a journey home seems ideal, all the same. In hindsight, I wonder why I came on this trip in the first place. It has proven to be impacting in some ways, and I should be thankful for that.
I came here with the chance that I might find the thing I was looking for, and as I was riding down Jan Path (one of the busiest roads in Bhubaneswar), unmistakably I noticed a sign that was meant for me to see, saying, "Life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change." There is a possibility that everything I had left to search for, I had already found; but I was too blind to see. Doesn't it always work that way? But then again, this could prove to be exactly what I needed all along. Only time will tell.
Yesterday, I got to experience this in passing on the way to the city, Konark (where rests the Sun Temple - sculpted with the entire Karma Sutra along its walls) and Puri (a vibrant beach city on the coast).
