Living as The Average Sized Female

I'm scrolling through endless articles, photos and the "new professional" attire fashion tips as I prepare for my interview in D.C. on Friday, thinking there is NO WAY I would look good in that.
It makes me wonder why everything I've seen lately is still targeted for the Size 2 female. Which I have to admit is an improvement from the Size 0 it used to be. But I have no idea what this outfit would look like on me. How will it fit on a woman with boobs, with curves, with actual thighs instead of chicken legs?
Isn't there a campaign to promote healthy bodies and healthy body image? How are we as females supposed to do that when all we see around us are advertisements that promote Size 2 and under, tall and incredibly skinny women.

This is not me:

Nor is this: 

But this is the average girl:

And it's not because we're not healthy. It's not because we don't exercise. It's not because we overeat. Mostly it's because of our genes, because we don't want to feel starved, or because we enjoy some of the joys of life that include delicious (and starchy) food and beer. Well, at least I do. And as I'm trying to find the perfect interview outfit that looks professional without making me feel like a whale (and no, I'm not fat, I'm just your average sized woman), I find these photos of great fashion styles, but I have no idea what it would look like on ME.
My idea of body image is morphed because of what I've been conditioned to believe is beautiful and I don't know how to break that cycle. As long as I'm active, eat well, feel good about myself and exercise regularly to keep my mind and body healthy, that's really all that should matter, right?

Living Life - Back in America

It wasn't easy knowing I was leaving my beloved Grenoble, the place that had become my home. I was happy there. I enjoyed the culture, lifestyle and people who had become a part of my life. But all good things come to an end; and so, I left my Grenoble apartment at 3:45am on the morning of May 22, 2014, knowing that would be the last time I would see this beautiful city again for a long while.

It was bitter-sweet, the return home. I had some amazing help at the airport, Oeli was the best travel dog ever and I got to drink my sorrows away on board, for free. I was greeted with a friendly smile from one of my great friends at the airport, who so graciously picked me up in D.C., and we drove back to begin another life in the States.

The days were long as jet-lag set in, Memorial Day weekend was in full throttle and thousands of emotions swept over me like a storm of wildfire. I didn't know how to think, act, feel... be. I just knew that I was in a new chapter of my life while still re-reading chapters of my past. Unhappy thoughts and sorrow rushed over me. Dreams of the past haunted me. I had opened a can of worms coming back to the life I had once known, that was no longer the same.

“It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone.”
― John Steinbeck

My lights went out when I came home and I'm still fighting to turn them all back on. I don't know how long it will take or how long I will have to fight, but I'll never stop. 

It's my family and friends that make me smile, the memories that I will never forget that push me to make new ones, and knowing that the world has so much to offer that drives me to do my best. I am on just one small branch of my Tree of Life. No matter how much doubt I feel today, I control how I will feel tomorrow... and I am on a mission to make the best out of life! 

Living the "No Shampoo" Do: Part 2

Hello All,

I thought it might be a good idea to give an update on my "No Shampoo" treatment and a couple more things I've discovered since I last posted.

I've been doing this for a while now, and it's going great! And it gets easier the longer I've been doing it.

Keep reading for MY TIPS section.

There are MAJOR perks living the "No Shampoo" do.

And it's been growing so fast!

The best part about all of this, is how simple it is.

MY TIPS

A couple of pointers that I've discovered along the way:

1. Stop using all products. After the one time I used the baking soda (*I don't use the baking soda/vinegar mix*), I found that my hair got clumped together and and had a weird texture at the bottom; although my scalp did feel squeaky clean. That could have been from poor rinsing the ends, however.
Continue if it suits you well though! I personally prefer no product.
2. I rinse my hair only once a week. **USE COLD WATER* - the reason you should use cold water to rinse your hair is because warm or hot water will also warm the natural oils causing them to stick together and create that clumpy/oily feeling in your hair. Using cold water will not do this.
3. Comb the oils through your hair frequently. You want to pull them from your roots through your entire head of hair.
4. I've reduced my baby powder/talc usage. I try to only add in baby powder or talc once a day (although sometimes twice) - *adding this creates BODY! (and static)* Get a great body look but don't use too much that makes your hair stand straight up or look white. Remember the baby powder/talc with help reduce moisture in the hair.
5. Let it fall naturally. It creates a beautiful, natural style.


There are some all-natural/organic (made from plants) hair washing products that I've thought about trying as a cleanser once every month. If I give it a go, I will update you on how it goes!  

How many of you have tried it and quit? What were the reasons you caved? What things have you struggled most with? Have you discovered any good pointers that others could use?

Leave a comment! I'd like to hear about your experience and give any feedback from my own personal experience. :)

Living my last days in France

T-18 days until my visa expires. I wish I could say that I was beyond thrilled to go home, but with little enthusiasm, I will be heading back to the United States.
Although this experience in France has been quite different than my previous, I have to admit, it was everything I had hoped for and needed - and more.

Starting off a little rough, beaten down, heartbroken and lost, my first months in France were not an easy feat. I questioned my decision to move across the vast ocean, yet again, leaving everything I loved behind. I wondered if my decisions were actually what I wanted or just what I thought I wanted. But I had made my choice, accepted the consequences and had to keep living. There is no reliving the past, so focus on the present and let the future come at will.

Once I finally accepted that I could do nothing about the external things that were affecting my spirit, I tried to let the negativity go and surround myself with positive people and energy. I started my #100HappyDays which helped me appreciate, once again, the little things in life that make me happy, and I began moving to a better place within myself. I still struggle, from time to time, as thoughts of the past pop into my head or questions about my decisions or the future storm over me, but overall this experience has helped shape me back into the person I want to be.

Still as the days tick on... I have yet to buy my plane ticket (1. because it is so damn expensive and I can't afford it and 2. I am secretly prolonging my return as much as possible). This is not to say that I can't wait to see my wonderful family and friends back home, but more so because I am slightly worried I will slip back into the dejected emotional state I was experiencing before.

I should probably get on that ticket thing.

I love my life here, the culture, the language, the leisure, the people. The way of living is much more relaxed without the constant stress or hustle and bustle. It makes me feel more alive. I am worried I will be re-caught in the death-trap of 40+ hour work weeks, little to no vacation time, minimal time for self reflection and the constant "go, go, go," lifestyle. I understand why the French love France, and not just for their work ethics *sarcasm* (this could be an entirely new blog post), but for the mellow and agréable ambiance of their lives of which I have become so accustomed.


It takes being forced to go home to realize my heart isn't ready.

Oeli and I have adapted well here and I was hoping to find a job that would allow us to stay at least another year, but things haven't worked out and we have to carry on. I am not ready to leave, but I know wherever the wind takes us next, there is a great ride ahead. Staying positive, staying hopeful, and staying strong to who I am - with a smile.

Living the Hitch-hiking Way

I left with 20 euros in my pocket, a small backpack and no phone. It would take around 5 hours to get to Montpellier from Grenoble, so I had heard, and I was hoping to arrive before nightfall. It was the first time I had hitch-hiked alone. The day was beautiful, not a cloud in the sky and the air was warm - a great day to stand around with my thumb stuck out, waiting for a nice soul to stop and take me to some further destination. As a solo hitch-hiker, you have to learn to follow your instincts, sharpen your wit and trust people more than you normally would. Travelling as a solo girl hitch-hiker, you have to augment all of those at an even higher level.

Fortunately, I had an amazing first experience making my way to the south of France. I have to thank the five people who picked me up along the way and got me safely to Montpellier: the English-speaking dad, the physical eduction high school teacher, the woman en route to visit her family, the semi-truck driver, and the French-islander from (one of those occupied French islands). I know none of their names, just their stories. I made it there before the sky grew dim.

Montpellier (and Courtney - the friend I was visiting who I had met a month earlier when she came to CouchSurf in Grenoble) showed me an amazing time and was a great host.
We laid on the sandy beaches of Montpellier, created catchy names for future inventions, watched five cars burn completely up in the middle of the night after our two hour jam session at a closed bar, bronzed in the sun by the river and mocked the multitude of photographers and their subjects. Our literal "mockage" goes as follows:
 

"Oh, look at me. Oui, take my picture."

(Uh oh! I got caught in the mockery) - notice said girl in white

Just laugh it off.

 My weekend in Montpellier wasn't all fun and games. I did have a terrible interview on Monday morning, where I was told my French sucked and my English grammar sucked even worse. Let's just say I won't be getting that job. Now to thinking differently about the future, yet again.

The adventure back from Montpellier was yet another interesting one when four French-Turks picked me up and dropped me off well further than I needed to go, that left me with difficulty trying to get a ride back to Grenoble. I met another hitch-hiker while hanging out around a toll booth, a very nice toll attendant named Erik and a lady who kindly dropped me off in Lyon. Luckily, I was able to get a hold of a friend that lives in Lyon who fed me and let me crash there for the night. I made my way back to Grenoble the next morning to arrive just in time to teach my first class.
I told my students if any of them could top my weekend, they could all leave. It was a sure shot none of them could, but they all enjoyed the story of my eventful weekend.

I came back with .32 cent in my pocket.

Living as "The Girl Next Door" in the French Alps

For those of you that haven't noticed yet, I have started a "living series." Each post I write for the next couple of months will be tagged, labelled and will be titled with "Living" in some form or another. hashtag #thelivingseries
I thought this would be an interesting way to portray my writing, as I'm currently "living" abroad and "living" life to the fullest possible. So today's topic: Living as "The Girl Next Door."

That's right, I'm the girl next door. Maybe in the traditional sense as well, who knows, but I'm talking literally, "the girl next door." The girl next door to a really attractive, who happens to be pretty awesome, French guy... with a girlfriend. First off, I hope he never reads this because it would be incredibly embarrassing (or funny), depending on how you look at it. However, I am completely attracted to said French man, but not-so-much that he has a girlfriend.

I'm not sure why I tend to want things I can't have - oh wait, I think that comes with life and probably my personality as well. But unfortunately, this one will have to remain friends. I can still look right?

Just kidding. He lives on the 4th floor.

On a side note, Spring is in the air... everywhere I look around. The flowers are in full bloom, the lower mountains have shed their white blankets for a fresh green canvas and the air is warm in the valley. The people are out and about and Oeli is enjoying basking in the sun on a daily basis. You can't beat a long bike right from the city into the French countryside, where horses roam, three mountain ranges surround you in all directions, the air is warm and the sun is shining down on your face. That's how I spent my Sunday afternoon in the beautiful French Alps. I don't think I can give this up any time soon.

Living Abroad with a Dog

Sure, the process of bringing my precious pooch to France was exhausting. I had to make sure he was up-to-date on all of his shots, he was micro-chipped, certified, and not to mention all the dreadful paperwork to complete the process. It took numerous trips to the vet and the final trip to Washington DC to get his USDA certification to permit him to travel out of the country.

Sure, I had to buy a new cage for him to travel in, pay the airline company (a lot of money) to allow him to travel with me and I had to think about his well being on top of it all.

The first time I lived abroad, I was staying in the dorms, which did not allow animals. At the same time, I wanted to experience life as an exchange student, travel and adventure as I pleased. My parents offered to watch Oeli during the year I was abroad. I can't explain how many times I thought about him, wanted his company and missed being able to look into his sweet, sweet eyes. I knew that if I were to ever to go back abroad after that year, I would take him with me. The experience that I had as an exchange student was one of the most, if not the most amazing year of my life to date, and I wouldn't change anything I experienced. But I can recall certain points during the year that having my loving companion would have been just the right thing to get over the home sickness or cure my case of the "Debbie Downer."
After finding out that I would be returning to France this year, there was no doubt in my mind that Oeli would be coming with me. It had been 4 years since the first time I had lived in France; and I knew my experience here this time would be completely different and I was okay with living a more settled life this go-round. 

Sure, now I have to think more about him instead of myself. I can't just leave for a weekend without making multiple arrangements to ensure he's taken care of while I'm gone. I come home during to day to walk him and come home early at night. I've had to deal with annoying neighbours, whimpering because he needs (or wants) to go outside, countless bags of dog food, treats, play toys (that he tears up immediately) and "accidents" in my room.

But there is nothing better than the unconditional love a dog gives. He is selfless, obedient and reassuring. He's always there for me when I need him most and he never lacks in cuddles. He has the cutest ears that flop in the wind and his markings make him unique. He always makes me smile as he cocks his head one way and then another when you speak to him. He knows when he's been bad and he tucks his head and shrinks down, but I can't stay mad for long because he deserves nothing but love. He knows when I'm sad and is always there to comfort me; and he looks at me with those sweet, sweet eyes that say, "Mom, don't worry. Everything is going to be okay."
And it will be, because he is there to make everything better.

I would never give him up for a million dollars, because it is he who helps build my happiness on a daily basis. He isn't just a dog: he's my best friend and companion.

Hi, I'm Oeli.

Living the "No Shampoo" Do

Maybe it was the fact that I was tired of dishing out hundreds of dollars (or Euros) a year in order to keep my hair looking "so fresh and so clean clean;" or maybe, subconsciously, I thought that instead of buying more shampoo and conditioner, I could buy another beer (or two) when I went out with my friends later that night. No matter what the cause, I up and decided to go cold turkey and chemical free on the hair front and walked away from the hair product aisle empty handed.

It had already been five days since I had washed my hair. It was possibly the longest it had ever been. I had normally washed my hair once a day with the occasional 'skip a day' and "throw it up" method; but five days was a drastic amount of time for me and I wondered how I had made it that long. Even when I was backpacking Europe and Asia, or travelling around India and Nepal, I still always found the opportunity to wash my hair: whether it was in a cold shower, out of a spigot, or bucket, or under a waterfall in the jungle. That's right, I was addicted. I thought the only way for my hair to look, feel and smell clean was to use that beautiful thing we call, "shampoo." Honestly, I used to think the only way I could feel clean was to have my hair washed. Oh, has that changed drastically.

I had been on a snowboarding trip over a long weekend. Unfortunately, I didn't have much time to take a shower before running to catch my train the day I was leaving. I didn't realize that I hadn't washed my hair the day before either. I didn't see any worry since there would be a shower at the apartment where we would be staying. But immediately upon my arrival, we starting cooking dinner and partaking in the nights festivities. On a snowboarding trip in a small apartment hosting 7-8 people and one bathroom, people tend to throw hygiene out the window, or at least minimize the amount of showering time that takes place. That meant, "no hair washing;" and that is how it all started!

I had briefly seen a Buzzfeed article about a girl who hadn't washed her hair in three years, but I didn't read it. But for some reason, when I was standing in the hair product aisle a couple of days later, that article popped into my head. I thought, if she can do it, so can I! And here I am, months later, with healthy and clean-looking hair (I even have great volume!).

Taken April 4, 2014 (just after I let my hair down from a ruffled bun) - sorry it's webcam quality

I have to be honest, in the beginning, I didn't think I could do it. I hadn't done any research on it, my hair was already starting to become really oily and I hated the fact that I didn't have that silky feeling conditioner gives you after a shower. But once I found out that shampoo actually strips all of your natural oils, causing your scalp to overcompensate causing it to become immediately oily (the reason why I washed my hair everyday), I thought, this cannot be good for my hair! I never looked back. I knew I wanted to give it up.

I cheated once, when I went to get a haircut. There is no better feeling than having someone else wash your hair and getting an incredible head massage along with it. But I immediately regretted it when I had to START ALL OVER.
Not only with the readjustment from my hair, but then my own personal endeavour.

HOW I DID IT:

Like I mentioned, I went cold turkey. I didn't start with organic products or even the vinegar and baking soda mixture. I went straight for the kill and completely cut out everything. I started out simply rinsing my hair thoroughly, scrubbing almost as if there was shampoo in it. It gave me the sensation that I was still "washing" my hair, even though I wasn't. Then once my hair was dry, (I mostly naturally dry, but if in a rush, I will still use a blow dryer) I would add a little baby powder to the roots to help minimize the oily appearance that happens in the beginning.
Since I first started the process, my hair has changed completely. It's less oily, although I still add baby powder on occasion to make it "feel clean," and especially to my bangs that hit my forehead. Now, I only have to rinse it once every couple of days, still scrubbing as if I'm massaging shampoo into it. It's incredible how we don't need hair products to make our hair look and feel healthier. And the interesting part about it - it doesn't smell at all! I know most people ask themselves, "doesn't it start to smell?" but it actually does not. And if you are really considering this lifestyle change and need to have some type of scent in your hair to make you feel clean, I recommend natural oils. Put them on the ends of your hair where your hair becomes the most dry and it will make it feel smoother and give you a "smelly-good" sensation without having to use any products.
Another helpful hint: If you are getting to the point where it's becoming "too much," use the baking soda trick. Before my recent play (I knew I would have to be on stage and wanted to make sure my hair looked especially nice), I took my baking soda into the shower and just scrubbed my roots to give my hair some good volume. I probably didn't need to do this, but again, it stems back to that sensation of cleanliness.

For the future: washing my hair isn't in the plan.

Please let me know if you have any questions, suggestions or comments!

How a Girl Loves Her Daddy

Two days ago, I started the Writer's Digest 12 Day Plan of Simple Writing Exercises to get me inspired to write more and challenge myself to write things I normally don't write. Day one is simple and asks you to create a list of 10 titles to books or articles you would like to write in the future. That I did, and have no moved on to day number two.
Day number two says: Create a character with personality traits of someone you love, but with the physical characteristics of someone you don't care for.
After much thought and realization that there aren't many people I don't care for (which makes it a little difficult), I decided to go with someone who I don't actually know but who has become, over the past 7 months, someone who has affected me in a strange and not-so-great way. This person need not be named or described.

However, I immediately knew the person of who I wanted to base the personality traits: my daddy.

I first want to mention that throughout my life, my parents have been two of the most supportive and influential people in my life. They have been my backbone, my biggest fans, my coaches, my friends and most importantly, the ones to tell me "how it is." They did a great job raising me, understanding my need for space, dealing with my strong personality and being there for me when I needed them most. They are the ones who push me to be a better person, to explore the world and find who I am, to educate myself and grow from all that I learn; and they are the ones who encourage me to be the best I can be, even if that means changing my mind a thousand times before I find my niche. On the second hand, I cannot shy from saying that my Aunt Faye (my god mother) is also one of those amazing people in my life who has done exactly the same. These three people appreciate me for all that I am and will ever be and I can say that I have some of the best family a girl could ever ask for.
As I was thinking about whose personality I would base a character off, I knew I wanted to choose between these three important people in my life. If I had to use the physical characteristics of someone I didn't like, I damn well better make this person have be best personality traits they could have. And that's why I chose my daddy.

Parents are always right. Plain and simple. They've been through it all, or at least 'most of it.' They know how it used to be, how it is and how it's probably going to be. They are the all-seeing and the all-deserving. The things that you once took for granted are the things you appreciate the most, now. The things that didn't matter then, turn to be one of the most important things in your life. We grow up, we mature and we realize: our parents were right!
I used to take my parents and family for granted, thinking that they would always be there, that I would always be able to talk to them, they would always have my back and they would always be around to antagonize me. Well my mom still wins the award for that last one (laughs); but as I've grown up and matured, I realize those first two won't and aren't always around anymore. Now living abroad for the second time in my life, I am able to reflect on the things that I once overlooked - how amazing my family is. My family will always have my back, that is certain, but as time goes on, the years start passing by quicker and quicker, the mind starts settling on things that aren't certain and you long to appreciate those more and more.

My Daddy:

I've never met a man who is as humble as my daddy. It's rare to find anyone in this world today who offers the amazing personality trait of being humble, but to have one in my life is the most precious gem a girl could ask for. He is the kind of person you know you can count on, who will be there for you on your best of days, but will be there even more on your worst. He is the kind of person that loves with his whole heart and would give the shirt off his back to the ones he cares most about. He is a man of many trades and works with his hands to build things, but works with his heart to build relationships. He's one of the most loyal and caring people I know, giving his time and energy to helps those in his life. He's the best listener, offering advice only when asked; has a good head on his shoulders and a warm soul. He's not afraid to tell you if he feels like you're taking advantage of him or pushing the limit, but has such a soft side that makes your heart melt when you see him hurting or sad. He wants nothing more than your safety and to know that you're doing okay and his hugs are the best things in the world. He's patient and kind and doesn't need much to live a happy life. He's silly and goofy and makes you laugh, because even when his jokes aren't that funny, he tries anyway and his quirky smile makes you giggle! I know his hardships through life have shaped him into the person he is today, the great dad is has been throughout my entire life and the strong heart he gives to the ones he loves. I know I haven't mentioned any of his flaws, but when you have a person like my daddy whose personality shines so bright to the people around him, you can't help but smile and be thankful that you are blessed to have someone like that in your life. And I know I don't know everything about my dad... but the one thing I do know is that I long to be more like him.

The Hardest Part is Letting Go

It's hard to let go of the past, the struggle, the pain, the hardship, the regrests, the idea of who you're supposed to be, the idea of who 'they' want you to be - to simply settle on the idea of who you are and who you want and need to be for yourself. The biggest problem is when you don't know exactly what that is. Being lost in a world where society is telling you to do one thing, when you know that it's not what you should be doing.  

We're built to believe that we can do anything; we have the power to change the world; we can make a difference - all of which is true, if you believe it yourself. But society is contradictory, telling us these things, and then when we get to the age that life is supposed to start making sense and we still have no clue what we're doing, society blames us for not making sense of it all. Life Never Makes Sense. In my short-lived life, I've come to realize what those four simple words mean - or have I? 

I am completely lost in life. It's as simple as that. I have no idea what's going to happen next. I have no idea what I want to do next. My life seems to be at the lowest it's ever felt, but then again, maybe it's at its highest. There's something exciting about "uncertainty." Uncertainty - the word describing my life in detail at this moment. I have absolutely no money. Everything seems to be falling apart. I'm currently living in another country, wanting to stay, but in a rough place with deciding how to do that, thinking about prospects all over the world, wanting to find something that's going to allow me to travel, constantly keep me on my toes, hardly sit down at a desk for more than a couple of days (or hours) at a time and that allows me to use my abilities to their best - is damn hard to find! If only life were simple - but then it wouldn't be life. 

Are lights guiding me home? I doubt that, I don't feel attached to "home" at all anymore. My world feels completely inside out, where I can establish "home" anywhere. Home is where the heart is, right? And if you have no idea where you're heart is? 

Why is the hardest part letting go? Why can't we let go of life and the weight of the world and "Just Have Fun?" Having always tried to follow the mantra of "just have fun" and "live life to the fullest," I feel the universe weighing down on me, eating at my soul, working against me, forcing me to fall into the norms of society. If I could escape to a far away place where like minded people lived, away from the corrupt world that is ruled by capitalism and greed, I would pack my bag, grab Oeli and go. *(This place would preferably have a beautiful beach, along with mountains where I could snowboard)*

If only such a place existed, where I could leave all of the "worldly" chaos and pressure. 

It's hard to let go of the ideas planted in my mind of who I should be, who people expect me to be and even who I want to be. It's hard to let go of the constant thoughts corrupting my mind on "what's next," "the future," "my purpose in life." It's hard to let go of the fact that I'm so incredibly lost, knowing I should just let things be and come as they come and "just have fun" in the meantime. Easier said than done. I'm still so young, yet I feel so old. The burdens of life weighing me down. But no matter how heavy they may be, I will keep walking (to where, I don't know), and I will grow stronger and my load will become lighter. 

These are some amazing rules to live by. Now,
let me practice what I preach.

Finding Me.... (Lukasz & Fabi's Wedding, New Year's 2014, Poland, Snowboarding)

WARNING!!! This might be a long one ;)

As many of you know, the last three months of my life have been one of the toughest I've ever experienced. I've gone through an array of emotions, trying to find worthiness again and feeling that life had it out for me, to feeling like I could handle all that I was going through and back and forth again.
I cannot express the gratitude I have for all of the people who have been there to listen, send positive words of encouragement and who helped remind me of who I am. I've realized as I get older that the most important people in your life will be there for you in your good and your bad times; and even those who you never expected to lend a helping hand or give an ear to listen can make such the difference.
It's been a struggle, to say the least, to find me again; but I think I'm finally getting my "spark" back!

As the new year rolled in, I decided to let my problems, sorrows, hardships, worries and everything else that brought me down in 2013, to stay in 2013. I promised myself that I would occupy myself and my time with positive people, positive things and positive thoughts - and it's incredible how amazing I've felt since.

I have to admit, when I missed my train to Paris, which ultimately made me miss my flight to Poland, I was discouraged beyond belief. I thought that was it - that was the end - that was the epic ending to my shitty 2013. But instead, I had friends from all over the world who came to my rescue! They wouldn't let my 2013 end that way, but instead give me something amazing to look forward to in 2014. The bride and groom were looking up buses, flights, trains, etc. for me, just so I could make it to their wedding. Friends in the same city were running around to help me make everything on time, and other friends were searching for any other way for me to make it to Poland. I have to admit - I have some of the most amazing friends ever!
After catching a bus to Milan, Italy, finding an amazing bus driver who gave me a lift an hour away to the airport, sleeping overnight in the airport, getting f'ed over by the airline with extra charges, finally catching the flight, a shuttle and two trains, I made it to Shiraz, Poland (the location of Lukasz & Fabi's Wedding (C'est la vie)) where I had an incredible time celebrating the marriage of two of the most AMAZING people in this world. I can't even describe the inner beauty in these two people. They have so much life and so much love for themselves, other people and the world. I long to appreciate life the way they do.
I cannot thank them enough for who they are, for showing me that life shouldn't be taken for granted and forcing me to be myself again. In the short amount of time we were together in Poland, they helped me find my spirit and love for life again. Being around so many international people, world travelers and those with the same type of spirit as me, opened my eyes and reminded me that I'm not the only one and that there are so many people out there that have the same mentality as I do. I'm not alone and I never will be.

A huge congratulations to the these two amazing people: Lukasz and Fabiola - I wish you a life filled with happiness :)

Furthermore, I spent my New Years 2014 in the an amazing city of Krakow, Poland, with awesome people! What more could I have asked for - it was, by far, one of the best things that could have happened to me. Celebrating New Years Eve in the town square with thousands of other people, dancing the night away and spending time with old and new friends. Not to mention the rest of our stay in Krakow was a blast as well!

One of my less disturbing pictures of Auschwitz - an original
train that brought hundreds of thousands of people to be
slaughtered in the camp. The gates in the far background. 

                                                                             



To sum it up... I also went to Auschwitz (the Nazi concentration camps) and it was one of the most educational and heartbreaking things I've ever seen. I am still in shock to think that people are so cruel and can be so completely brainwashed into thinking that massacring people is okay. Not to mention thinking about the many times throughout history that this has happened, where people have been lessened as human beings and the fact that it still occurs in many places around the world today makes me cringe - I want to rid all evil from this world.


Bref: Since being back from Poland, I've let myself be happy again, extremely and amazingly happy again. Snowboarding has been an incredible release and being around people with similar positive outlooks on life has brought my positivism and optimism to the max once again; and I feel that nothing can bring me down and I won't let anything bring me down.
Finally letting myself accept that everything happens for a reason has been one of the most important things I could have done for myself and letting go of "what could have, should have or would have been" has been my biggest success. Life moves faster than I'd like, time goes by and it's hard to hang on, but one thing I know is that, "You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough." So I'm going to do it as "right" as I can!


P.S. Got to see this awesome girl who I haven't seen in 3 1/2 years!!! :)